R.I.P My baby boy Jonathan ‘Tenso’ Rogers. Where do I even begin.. I’m lost for words knowing you’re no longer with us, how can god take such an amazing person away from me. It was too soon for you to leave, you had your whole life to look forward to. You were a funny, sweet, strong and kind hearted person, you mean so much to me words can’t explain. One thing I loved the most about you was you never complained, even when you had problems at home you always keep a smile on your face and always laughing. Even though you had problems of your own you always managed and made sure everyone else around you were happy and smiling. I’ll never forget the great memories we shares together. Writing your name in the sand at the beach, buying you a keychain from sf that you always had on your school ID. Holding your hand under the art table in class, the paint fight we had lol. The day when you held me in your arms the whole class period just because you felt like it and tried to kiss me on the cheek and said to me “you’ll always be my only gf, even though we’re not together”. The lovely morning phone calls, the way you’d always call me your ginger because of my freckles lol. Your smile always caught my attention and that laugh of yours you could hear from a mile away and know it was you. You really were one of a kind, one in a million! No one will ever compare to you, no one will ever take your spot in my heart. I’ll never forget your hugs when you didn’t want to let me go and the warmth of being in your arms. I love you with all my heart, the good die young god knows you deserved to live. You’re in a better place smiling down on me, watch over me baby boy rest easy my angel. Your Lil ginger will never forget you, I promise!

Do you have a family member who always makes everything seem like a competition? Who has better clothes, friends, looks and better life. Like really who cares, I don’t see it as a competition at all. Yea you may have a better life than me, you get whatever you want. I don’t have a great life and I don’t get whatever I want. You win!! But in reality what did you win? You’re just showin off how great your life is and honestly I can careless. I’m proud of you, but I don’t care how good you have it. I’m focused on tryna make my life better and all you do is bring me down by acknowledging that my life is the greatest. I know that already, I been livin my life since I was born, I know nothing is perfect. You just like to point it out. It hurts and it’s annoying! Get over yourself and most of all stop making everything a damn competition, you don’t win a life award!

I go for the older guys, most of the time. For one I like the mature look they have and most of them have something going for them. I’ve always liked guys around the age of 19,20,21. I mainly talk to guys that are 20 tho. They have their life together, job, car and all. I just feel like I don’t have my life together yet, so I don’t want to get into a relationship with an older guy or any guy at that. It’s my pride, I feel like I’m not doing anything so why would they want to be with someone who doesn’t have their shit together, ya know. Once I turn 18 I’ll be getting my G.E.D, getting a job, a car and then college soon after. I’m basically waiting to start doing something so I can feel better about myself and finally get into a relationship after all this time. my pride is getting in the way of finding love. My life is on hold till I turn 18. :/ 4 more months.

When someone says they have moved on, don’t assume they’re with someone else. Moving on doesn’t necessarily mean on to the next, it can mean that they’re content with the way their life is without you.

When someone once lost their trust for you, there’s really no point in trying to get their trust back or even trying to work shit out with them. Once you lose a person’s trust, they’ll never trust you again, no matter if they tell you they got over it or they forgive you. They’ll ALWAYS have the thought of why they can’t trust you in the back of their mind at all times. Believe me when I tell you, cause someone once lost my trust and I never fully forgave him, forgot about it or trusted him ever again. It was a waste of his and my time to get the trust back, cause that won’t ever happen! No matter how much you love and care for a person. Something like this, you got to one day realize you have to move on from that person because it’ll never work out, they won’t trust you. What’s love without any trust? It’s like a car with no gas. In this time in my life I’m realizing I have to officially move on from someone I really truly care about and love..because he doesn’t trust me. I don’t want my time being wasted and I know how it is not being able to trust someone. You just won’t ever get that trust back or at least they won’t completely trust you. Life goes on, there’s more people out there and you can use this experience as a lesson learned for your next relationship. Give this some thought and put it to use, if your in this type of situation. It’ll be hard to move on but in the end your time won’t be wasted and it’ll be for the best.